I had a goal of blogging at least twice a week but then I broke my hand and got behind in school and and and a million of other excuses could come up. I was really wondering if a broken hand was holding me back from blogging or if it was just an excuse for me. I always have had a problem with commitment. I wonder how do people in relationships for years and how do they keep going? Buying a house what how?? That means your stuck there in the same place, you can’t just leave if you get bad neighbors or the neighborhood starts becoming something you don’t want. When I had my baby I was panicking think oh my gosh I have this person depending on me for 18 years and its not something I can just return like a sweater that doesn’t fit right or a whatever
I wonder if it is just the fear of commitment or other underlying issues that I haven’t acknowledge or dealt with yet. I wonder how much my anxiety plays into this on a daily basis and what is just a lack of motivation. I think I need to reevaluate what I need and what I want to do for myself. For this week I want to turn in class assignments early, look for a job, finish the focal point book and listen to more motivational speakers I have found on Youtube while doing whatever else I need to get done. Its just going to take baby steps and I just have to keep that in mind baby steps.